Ask: How to Relate to Anyone

This is one of the best books on improving your personal and professional life that I’ve read in the past ten years. It’s not just about asking good questions; it’s about shifting the way you relate to everyone in your life. At its root, the author’s method (“Ask”) is deceptively simple: make it about the other person, not about you. Knowing how hard that is to do, he provides practical, memorable ways to do it.This is an extremely easy read because the author weaves his research findings, personal and professional experiences, and techniques together seamlessly. Using his ideas in conversations with my wife, kids, siblings, friends, and clients, I found “Ask” to be fun as well as almost automatically effective. Given that it is not manipulative (like some communication techniques), I expect that over time it will improve me as a human being along with my communications and relationships. Read it, and reap.

Gifted this book by my employer, but not naturally a 'self help' book type of person, I felt obligated to read it so I reluctantly placed it on a bathroom shelf. (Can I even say that??!!)A skeptic by nature, I decided to test the main pretext - Ask questions to improve relationships - with my toughest client, my oldest adult son, with whom I've had a long-distance, tenuous relationship and with whom I just can't seem to connect in any meaningful way. I know it sounds cliche, but the very first time I intentionally planned my conversation to involve sincere questions instead of articulating real, motherly concerns and giving advice, I was rewarded with information and insight into his life that I had not previously uncovered...including pictures to support what he was telling me! While the skeptic in me still says, "This is too good to be true" - the momentum built by that one thought out conversation, intentionally censored to take out any of my questions or comments and to truly dip into what he felt and thought held such reward that I'm willing to try it again. Great stuff.

This book is an easy read with references to back up its statements. Since starting it I have been much more mindful of how I engage in conversations with others and I’m feeling good about the results. Simple and straightforward, it offers a lot for its short length. Congrats to Daniel Solin for another excellent book.

The advice in this book is concise and well organized; is well supported by peer-reviewed psychological research; provides action points to focus on in real life and in real relationships; And it works. Thank you, Dan Solin.

Great book that shows you how to put the other person first and make you a more interesting person. Fantastic!

An excellent insightful read, it makes you think introspectively....a good thing

The author gave me a complimentary copy of this book but placed no constraints on any review I agreed to write.I’ve been applying some of the principles from ASK with my family, friends and clients ---and the results have been astounding! They think I’m so much more interesting, nicer, empathetic, intelligent--- and lots of other traits---and all I did was make sure that I stopped talking so much (especially about me) and focus on them! Instead of always trying to formulate a quick reply to whatever they told me, (while only half listening to what they said), I listened more intently, and then asked questions in a way that showed I really cared. Instead of being so quick to offer my opinions or advice---I just ASKed and ASKed --- and thanks to your insightful book have had some of the deepest, richest conversations that increased closeness and understanding like you wouldn’t believe. Who would have thunk it – that something so simple and basic could have such a profound effect! And the more I do it, the more second nature it becomes. With the help of this great book, I hope to become a master ASKer because it truly is one of the most effective tools for effective communication that I’ve ever seen (and I’ve been in the Communications field professionally for 35 years running one of the top DRTV agencies in the country). I wish I had read this book decades ago – but it’s never too late for an old-timer to learn new tricks, right?

Ask: how to relate to anyone is a self-help book defining ways where we can establish and maintain long term relationships. The author demonstrates this ability by using psychology and neuroscience.The book is written well and is easy to follow. The lesson is to understand and practice behavior that produces opportunities in arguments rather than destroy a positive outcome.The author believes that we need to listen to others and ask them questions. He mentions that we think by talking more, we grab the attention, but it’s actually the opposite. By letting the other person talk, we make them happy, and that causes them to like us.I thought that the methods and science behind the goals would have slightly altered due to cultural and religious differences; however, it appeared to gear towards everyone.The literature and the layout of the book were very well put together. I believe the work would be more suitable for people who wish to establish or learn how to communicate and build long-lasting bonds with others.If you are shy, haven’t had a good chance of making friends, or wish to be in a suitable relationship, this book is for you.